Day in the Life in Recovery

A Day in the Life in Recovery - from Anonymous

Here is a day in the life of an anonymous submission; remember, everyone's recovery is different, it isn't linear, and we're all at different stages. Be kind to people, you don't know what they're going through.

♡ Saige

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I wake up, but I'm too tired to move so I go back to sleep. When I wake up for a second time, I get ready for school. This normally includes me throwing on whatever I can find, and not even bothering to shower because I don't typically have the energy to do so. I scroll through TikTok for a while (meaning a few minutes), and run downstairs once my dad and sister tell me it's time to leave.

My dad drops me off at Tim Hortons; I like to get an iced coffee, cheese biscuit, and bacon and egg muffin. I love eating these foods in the moment, but afterward, I can feel really guilty. However, I have learned to push through these thoughts: the show must on.

My friend meets me around 9am, and after she eats we head to school. I eat before she comes because eating around other people can make me feel really uncomfortable. I go to school for a few hours, on the verge of falling asleep. My body feels heavy, especially after I eat, and that can be exhausting. 

Around lunchtime, my friend and I head to Southgate. I love (being a relative term... I stick to a routine) having BBQ food for lunch. Having the same thing often provides me with a sense of security when eating, easing some of the anxiety around food. I like to distract myself by walking around with my friend and shopping, sometimes even hanging out in a bathroom making TikToks. However, I can feel really tired by this point. I honestly don't know how my friend has so much energy after she eats; it's as if for me, eating is a full-time job.

After this, I go to work. I'm a line cook, so I'm constantly on my feet. It's exhausting, and I get so hungry while doing it. But for me, eating at work is difficult because of the "heavy" feeling I have after I eat. I feel like I need to be light, and quicker on my feet, in order to do my job to the best of my abilities.

When I get home from work, I don't normally eat dinner because of how late it is. But I do snack on Halloween candy (and the occasional Ensure bottles if you know what I mean). Nighttime is the hardest time for me as I'm all alone and have no one to turn to for support during this hour. I tend to turn to substances, which I know is unhealthy, however, at that moment my judgment is clouded. This is something I'm really trying to work on.

Right before I sleep, I end my day off by watching Criminal Minds. It soothes my brain, and prepares me for bed by giving me time to relax. Then I sleep, ready to do all of it again tomorrow.